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tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  April 8, 2011 12:35am-1:35am EDT

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[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you all very much. great, great. how you all doing? welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." man, i am so excited, you guys. we have dame helen mirren on the show tonight. [ applause ] she's looking good, too. looking real good. i saw her backstage it was like, daaaaamn! also we have damon wayans jr. on the show. awesome. [ cheers and applause ] he's a good dude. he's a funny guy. i saw him backstage, i was like daaaaaamon wayans jr. we also have the one and only paul simon on the show! [ cheers and applause ] i saw him backstage i was like, hey, paul simon. [ laughter ]
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you're awesome. hey, did you guys see this? in a speech yesterday, president obama revealed that up until a few years ago, he was still paying off his student loans. yeah. in response, china was like, oh, so you do know how to repay loans. interesting. [ applause ] check this out. in an interview this week, star jones said that her last year on "the view" was miserable. star added, it wasn't because of any one person. the daily grind was just becoming too much of a hasselbeck. [ laughter ] hey, this is interesting. a new study found that families with two daughters are the happiest. [ cheers ] unless, of course, their dad currently has a 42% approval rating. so -- [ laughter ] this story is crazy. this -- this is amazing. archaeologists found evidence of a 5,000-year-old gay caveman. [ laughter ]
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>> steve: come on. i mean how. >> jimmy: well, they did. they found -- yeah. he's a gay caveman. he would always asked the other cavemen, you want to rub sticks together? [ laughter ] that's right. a gay caveman, must have been tough back then. the military had a strict policy of don't unga, don't bunga. unga -- >> steve: don't unga, don't bunga. >> jimmy: no unga. >> steve: that's a policy. >> jimmy: instead of saying ugh, he'd say, u to the gh, girlfriend. why would he do that? >> steve: and they found this from the archeological records? >> jimmy: i don't know. i don't know. hey did you hear about this? this is a totally weird story. new york lawmakers are deciding if corn should be the official state vegetable. yeah, because when people go to new york their first though is, i got to try the corn. [ laughter ] i'm only here three days. where do you get the best corn new york? well you go to original joe's. you go to original famous joe's, that's pretty good.
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you go out to brooklyn. they got some good corn. depends on what you like. and finally, this is pretty crazy. a school in virginia is facing criticism for letting students feel breast implants on career day. especially because the implants were inside a stripper named crystal. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we have a fantastic show for you tonight. i love this lady. i love her, and she'll be hosting "saturday night live" this weekend. helen mirren is here! [ cheers and applause ] as i said earlier, damon wayans jr. is stopping by. he always makes us laugh. [ cheers and applause ] and we have an encore performance from the one, the only, paul simon is here! [ cheers and applause ] that new record is great. got a new album out.
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comes out tuesday. "so beautiful or so what" is the name of the record. you gotta pick it up. comes out tuesday. it's so good. that guy's got a magic voice. just -- phenomenal. great musician. [ applause ] but first, as you guys know i love all the "real housewives" shows on bravo. new york, new jersey, beverly hills, all of them. but my absolute favorite is the one shot right here in our very own building with my wife denise and her four crazy friends, and here, check this out. this new issue of "glamour" magazine, it's on newsstands right now. take a look at page 58 over here. dos and don'ts, the "real housewives of late night." that's my wife. that's my wife, denise. and higgins' wife, and that's your wife. what did your wife think of this? >> steve: she loved it. she said she had a wonderful time. >> jimmy: good, good, yeah. my wife denise was asked to do
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this photo shoot for the dos and don'ts of "glamour," and it was very exciting for her. as you probably can guess, it didn't go exactly smoothly. didn't go smoothly. so let's take a look how it all went down. check out the latest episode of the "real housewives of late night." >> announcer: previously on the "real housewives of late night." >> hello, who ordered the party? >> my named denise and my husband is jimmy fallon. >> my name is lydia higgins, and my husband is steve higgins. he announces for the jimmy fallon show. >> my name is dale miles i'm married to a.d. miles. he's the head writer. >> hi my name is yvonne. my husband is the director of "late night with jimmy fallon." >> my name is rene biddle and my husband is owen biddle of legendary root band. >> "glamour" magazine has asked me be to in their april issue. >> do me a favor, don't tell anybody. its my big day, okay? >> oh, honey, i will be at that photo shoot. >> i could say i had a good feeling about this, but i would be lying.
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i'm the queen of "late night" and this is my castle. [ laughter ] >> i got a personality as big as my boobies. >> some people call me sassy and some people call me classy. >> i am about to show these ladies who the boss is. ah -- [ laughter ] ♪ >> oh, my -- >> hi, i am ready for the shoot. today i am being photographed by "glamour" magazine and i could not be more excited. i might just pee my pants. that's how excited i am. did anybody bring the pants? just kidding. maybe i'm not kidding. >> someone is getting their picture taken! hello!
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>> denise is being photographed today by "grammar" magazine. it is very exciting. i haven't been this excited since my stevie bought me one of those bath massagers from brookstone. you know, they're not really for your back, they're for your vagina. [ laughter ] >> oh my word. look at all the glamour. well this is just so exciting you know, because i've been reading "glamour" magazine signs was 16 years old. ooh, what i wouldn't do to be just 16 just for one more second. everything was so pert and firm and just -- you could have bounce a quarter off my hind part. >> dale reading "glamour" reminds her of being young, you know? you know, before she became a weirdo. >> oh, come on in. >> hello, girls. hello, guys. >> hello. how is everyone? >> i'm a little nervous. >> this photo shoot is going to be huge, huge!
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like valerie bertinelli two years ago. it's too bad yvonne couldn't make it. >> ooh. glamour. ooh. that's a cute ponytail. >> so, denise is over at "glamour" today doing a little raggedy ass photo shoot, and she doesn't think i know about it, but surprise! the truth cannot be hidden from yvonne. >> the only thing that can't be hidden from yvonne, is sandwiches. okay? she can smell them at the dock, from a mile away. she's like a land shark, except for cold-cuts, okay? okay? >> no. not for me. >> oh, no. denise did not tell yvonne about the photo shoot, because she doesn't want the drama, and we all know how much denise hates to make a scene.
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>> i don't want this. i don't want this. i want something for me to wear! today is about moi. moi, okay? moi. not woi. >> it's always got to be about denise. hmm. >> this is rene. where the heck is she? ♪ >> rene gets confused really easily. bless her heart. >> that's because she's always drunk. she's like a heineken brewery with ovaries. it's a nightmare!
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>> in rene's defense, she was told to meet at the "glamour." we did not specify glamour what. so i will say this for the woman, her intentions are good. her breath on the other hand smells like the inside of a septic tank, but, her intentions are good. [ laughter ] >> oh, that is like -- >> i found my dress! >> it's "glamour" time! >> hello. the photo shoot can begin. >> listen to me, you sound like mc hammer, stop, glamour time! >> i'm having a ball right now. do-do, do, do, can't touch me. or this. >> oh, yeah. >> oh, my god. oh -- >> amazing pictures in my restroom. >> amazing.
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that's -- that's it. >> well, denise was just on fire at that photo shoot. >> coming through the lens. attacking you. i'm like a racist in a lifetime movie. >> she was like a greek statue, with the penis, of crse, ripped off. speaking of penises, that photographer, peter yang -- peter yang, is that right? >> uh-huh. >> can i see your yang? i'm teasing. can i see your peter? [ laughter ] >> that photographer, yang, was electric. if you want, later on, we can do a lingerie shoot. i think she wanted to show him her flashbulb. if you get my drift? right. some tits. >> ah -- it's in the camera. >> uh-oh.
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>> that was -- >> oh, my god. >> hey. dale, lydia -- hey, baby. >> this is like ordering a steak at chili's. it cannot be good. >> what's going on? >> it's all fun until yvonne shows up. you know that. >> no, no. >> see this? look at me, honey. shoot this. >> okay. >> yeah. >> good. >> what is wrong with you? >> that was -- >> this woman has got some nerve. who the f does she think she is? i don't think so. >> the world deserves a glamorous model. [ laughter ] >> i think i'm having a heart attack. does anyone know the heimlich? >> no. >> peter, stop taking pictures. okay? >> enough! f this, and f her! okay? >> you know what?
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forget it. the shoot is over. okay? the shoot is over. you're ruining a good party. the shoot is over. >> this is a nightmare. this woman is like freddy krueger, it's like a living nightmare and we are living on elm street. >> you don't even read "glamour" magazine. it's not for you, it's for crafty ladies. >> well then why are you reading it, honey? >> you, don't! you -- don't! okay? you -- don't! >> can you -- it's not worth it. >> no. no! this shoot is over. everyone go home. >> well, all things considered, i'd have to say the photo shoot went pretty smoothly. oh, wait a second. no, it didn't. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. thanks to "glamour" magazine. we love you guys over there.
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thank you, guys. see our whole episodes at realhousewivesoflatenight.com. and stick around, everybody. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> going to a job interview, i make sure i've got the right guidance. it's the same with my taxes. turbotax has a unique gps feature that guides me step-by-step. and calculations are guaranteed 100% accurate.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show, everybody. thank you so much for tuning in. you know, actually, i have a pretty funny story. i thought i'd share it with you guys, if you don't mind. the other day i was at the doctor's. [ laughter ] >> doctor, yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what's -- what's that? >> doctor -- doctor "late night with jimmy fallon," i get it, man. it's hilarious. i love your show. huge fan, huge fan. i see where you're going with that one, though. >> jimmy: what are you talking about? what do you mean you see where i'm going? >> come on. doctor? doctor, doctor jekyll, jekyll and hyde, hide and seek, you're counting to ten, ten mississippi, what's the capital of mississippi, jackson, bring you back to andrew jackson, $20 bill, bill murray, don't worry be happy, bobby mcferrin,
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"fahrenheit 451," science fiction, syfy network, owned by universal who merged with who? nbc, home of "late night with jimmy fallon." how do you like me now? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i guess i like you the same as before. i don't even know you. >> i know you, because i can see inside your brain. >> jimmy: okay. that's just insane. [ laughter ] >> insane. did you it again. insane, "late night with jimmy fallon." that one took me a second but i see where you're going with that one, too. >> jimmy: what are you -- what are you talking about? >> insane. insane. insane in the membrane, cell membrane, bring you back to mitochondria, my favorite organelle, the powerhouse of the cell, powerhous, mighty mouse, here he comes to save the day --tona 500, race cars, race car palindromes, alan colmes, fox news, fox news, button you're hitting every nine minutes, "minute to win it," guy fieri, spiky --"hairy and the hendersons," florence henderson, "the brady
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bunch," bunch of bananas, bananas in pajama's, they're coming down the stairs, stair-master, master and commander, commander data from "star trek: the next generation," "my generation" by the who -- what, where, when, why --"how i met your mother," mother of invention, bring you back to thomas edison, the wizard of menlo park, he got us out of the dark when the light bulb went "spark," electricity, power lines, power steering, chevy trucks, chevy chase, "weekend update," chevy to norm, norm to colin, colin to fallon, "late night with jimmy fallon." how you like me now? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was pretty good. good job. good job. job. job-a, jabba the hutt from "star wars," bringing you back to han solo, solo mission, mission control, ground control -- ♪ ground control to major tom ♪ major tom, "major dad," laser tag, laserdisc, dvd, blu-ray, sugar ray, leonard, bringing you back to boxing, the thrilla in manila with the george foreman grill-a, the grease drips down so that fat don't kill ya,
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cholesterol, ethanol, alternative energy, energizer bunny, he's banging the drum like ringo star, ringo star, bing card, they're calling out the numbers, g-52, b-52, "love shack," radio shack, shaquille o'neal, eugene o'neill, the play- write, "long day's journey into night," "knight rider" rider strong, "boy meets world," world's fair, fair trade ice cream, ice cone, you see where i'm going, you what i'm throwing, hail marry to the ben and jerry, they got my back with the late night snack, the salty and the sweet caramel treat, from nbc, studio 6b, "late night" with me jimmy fallon. how you like me now? [ cheers and applause ] >> i get it, man. you're better than me. [ laughter ] this is all i had going for me. i'm out of here. [ audience aws ] ♪ >> jimmy: hey -- come on back, man.
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i'm sorry. ♪ i -- [ laughter ] come on back. come on. come back to the show, have a good time. you're my -- you're my biggest fan. you get all my jokes. [ laughter ] come on, man. reconsider. yeah. thanks, buddy. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ come on, gosh. come on, man. it's going to be really fun. i promise. [ light laughter ] ♪ what's -- what's your problem? come back. don't put your arms in that thing and lean over, either. don't do that. why are you judging me? just come back. it's fun. hey, all right. good man. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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come on. hey. come on. [ audience aws ] i can see where you are. you're still back there. [ laughter ] you can't leave. that door doesn't open. it's fake. that door is a fake door. nice try. ♪ come on back. all right. [ laughter ] give it up for the mets bucket hat guy, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with helen mirren! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ boy's voice ] jerry, ya better come out'n give us some o' that sub!
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our first guest is an emmy and academy award winning actress, who's new movie "arthur" is in theaters friday. this weekend she'll host "saturday night live" with musical guests the foo fighters. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the beautiful helen mirren!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: you're so cool. thank you so much for coming. >> james, james, james when are you going to introduce me to your lovely wife? you know, you keep hiding her from me. i keep coming here, i keep expecting to meet her. she's never here when i come here. and i think we have a lot in common. and i'd love to get together with her, have a drink, you know? little girl talk. >> jimmy: it's not going to work out. >> why not? >> jimmy: i have a crush on you. [ laughter ] hey, you know what? last time you were here, i -- i beat you in beer pong. remember? >> i know. i know! it's a painful memory that reminds me. i've got nightmares about that moment. >> jimmy: but we won't do it again, but last night,
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jennifer garner who is your co-star in "arthur," she came on. and she avenged you. >> she did? she beat you? >> jimmy: she beat me. >> fabulous! >> jimmy: no! i was so upset. i was so mad. it was awful. i haven't lost in -- it was over a year. >> i bet you were distracted by that beautiful face across from you. >> jimmy: i don't know what was going on. she was dissing me. i don't know what she was doing. it was awful. but now you're upstairs two floors, you're on "saturday night live" this weekend. how's it going? is it fun? >> it's going great. it is fun. everyone said it was going to be fun. i was so intimidated and frightened. kind of a way out of my comfort zone. but everybody said, don't worry. you'll have a blast. and it is absolutely fantastic. >> jimmy: are they pitching you any crazy ideas? >> yeah. well you know you go to this pitch thing right at the very beginning. and they all come in. and you're sitting 0n the chair. and they all are like, 30 people sitting on the, on the floor in front of you so you feel exactly like a kindergarten teacher. [ laughter ] and they're all clutching like dirty little bits of paper, like little post-it-notes they used
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on one side and on the other side they've written out a quick idea for a sketch. you know they've done it just around the corner. >> jimmy: two minutes before they come in to the pitch. >> and then they come in and pitch it and mostly they are completely incomprehensible. i'm going, really? that's funny. well -- you know -- but they know what they're doing, and they're just great. >> jimmy: i heard it was great? we hear everything. >> you do? >> jimmy: yes. we have like a soup-can that comes down with a string on the end. >> of course you do. they're tapping on the -- >> jimmy: the writers love you. >> she really does. >> jimmy: they like you. >> it's unbelievably exhausting, it's the olympics of acting, really. you know? one minute you're -- all of these different characters and accents and voices. but the great thing is that all of the performers just throw themselves in, like 150%. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. they're talented, a great cast. >> they're fantastic. >> jimmy: now you've been in the united states for a little
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while. are you missing the royal wedding fever? >> i guess i am. i'm not even quite sure when is it. is it soon? next week? >> jimmy: yeah. there's a countdown. we're having a big party. everyone's getting together. it's april, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: april 29th. >> april 29th, thank you. well, okay, yes. >> jimmy: so you're not going? >> no. i wasn't invited. >> jimmy: me neither. >> i know. why? weird. >> jimmy: well you played the queen. >> i've been trying -- i tried bribing people, and then i tried, you know, finding a way around the back of canterbury, the abbey, and they found me trying to climbing in. >> jimmy: trying to climb the fence? >> and i've even tried to get myself an outfit because i thought i might pick up -- >> jimmy: you can borrow mine. >> because i do a lot of these gender bending roles, you know? >> jimmy: absolutely. >> i have a good feeling about kate, because she's a working class girl. >> jimmy: exactly. i said -- yes.
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>> she's one of us. we love her. >> jimmy: yeah, we love her. talking like mick jagger. yeah, we love that. no. she will. i know. okay. working on it. i'm working on that. hey, congratulations. is it grauman's chinese theater out in l.a. >> yes. >> jimmy: your hand in the cement and your feet in the cement. it's an honor! [ applause ] that's so cool. >> i swear to go, it's one of the greatest honors of my life. incredible. i was -- in england we call it doing a grinny. which is sobbing while you're making your acceptance speech. i just managed to stop myself. it was great, because, you know, when i got my -- very kindly noted, when you get that, you go to the palace, buckingham palace. i got prince charles, the queen, the soldiers, there's a military band playing. everyone is all dressed up. and it's all very formal. you learn how to curtsy and it's all very, very formal, and then,
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you know, next big one, i win an oscar. you know? i'm standing on the stage in front of all of these movie stars holding an oscar in my hand and they're all applauding, and, it's an incredible dream come true, and now i have my hands and feet done on the hollywood boulevard, they're going to be there forever, and this is what you have to do. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i see that as -- that demonstration. i love you. more with helen mirren when we get back you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] in the event of a collision, the smartest thing you could do is cut the fuel supply...
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he loves you -- oh, yeah, absolutely. welcome back. i'm here with the great helen mirren, who is in the movie "arthur" coming out this weekend. a remake of the film with dudley moore but -- >> yeah, and sir john gielgud. >> jimmy: john gielgud. >> who played my role brilliantly. my role -- you see, already i've called it my role. really it's his role that i play. >> jimmy: well, gosh, you did own it. i mean, gosh. you were just -- you were fantastic. hitting home runs left and right in this movie. >> oh, well --
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>> jimmy: so good. >> i had a great comedy director, jason winer, who did "modern family." >> jimmy: yeah! it's like -- >> he directed "modern family." >> jimmy: i'd never heard of this guy until -- he was great. it was well directed. >> he looks 12. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yes -- >> jimmy: shocked with new york city in this movie. >> beautiful. doesn't it look gorgeous? >> jimmy: it makes you fall in love with city again. you see like, central park -- >> yes. mind you, we shot it last summer -- this summer, 138 degrees. >> jimmy: that's right, it was super duper hot. >> dying in the heat. >> jimmy: that's right. >> yeah, but -- you're right, new york is a great city and it looks great in the movie. >> jimmy: and russell brand is hilarious in this movie. >> yeah, he is. >> jimmy: you guys have great chemistry. >> we do. i think on some weird planet -- in a black hole somewhere, you know, we kind of have relationship. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think he feels that about a lot of people. yeah, i think he does. i want to show a clip of the movie "arthur." here's the great helen mirren in "arthur." >> get dressed. >> why? >> because, at 3:00 you're going to ask burt johnson for his daughter's hand in marriage. >> i will do no such thing.
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i'm going to remain here and box with evander. then i shall have my music lesson with kayne west as planned! >> out, now! >> make me. >> after you're married, you're going to have to stop this obsession with random women you know? >> she's not a random woman. she understands me. she laughs at my jokes. she's like you but with a more appropriate potential for sex. ow! that really hurt. evander, you assured me i was indestructible. >> burt johnson, 3:00. evander, if he's not of this ring in one minute, i'll bite your other ear off. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: dame helen mirren, everybody! "arthur," in is theaters friday. check her out on "saturday night live" this weekend. damon wayans jr. joins us next. there he is, hanging out in the bud light lime green room. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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prepare your taste buds. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. our next guest is part of a great american comedy family, and he's one of the stars of the hot new show called "happy endings," which premieres with two episodes after "modern family" wednesday april 14th on abc. please welcome a talented performer and friend of the show, damon wayans jr. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: welcome back. thanks for coming back to visit the show. >> thanks for having me. >> jimmy: we had a great time last time. you drew me a drawing last time which i still have in my dressing room. i brought it out here to show people. i really appreciate this. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i think. this is it. it's a self-portrait of me. [ laughter ] >> i went to art school, guys. >> jimmy: you actually did go to art school? >> yeah. for a whole year. >> jimmy: yeah. you drew this with your foot or something, or -- >> no, no. a hand. took a couple days. >> jimmy: a couple days on that one. i know that you -- you brought me another gift today. >> yeah. i brought you another one. i feel like we should --ya know, keep within the, you know, the tradition of us. >> jimmy: well, you're starting a tradition, i guess. yeah. >> yeah. and, you know, just this one kind of defines our friendship. like where we've gone as kind of buddies. >> jimmy: okay. i've never seen this. >> we're touching butts. [ laughter ]
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>> two guys having their butt --butt touch, right >> jimmy: what --what is the -- >> i renamed you. >> jimmy: jamon? >> jamon. damon and jamon. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm jamon? >> yeah. >> jimmy: now, what is butt touch? >> butt touch is like everything is getting kind of played out. like the high five is kind of played out. you know what i mean? it's kind of like the butt high five. >> jimmy: the butt high five? >> yeah man. >> jimmy: that's the new thing? >> that's what everyone --all the thugs are doing it. it's like -- the thing, man. and got to take your pants off to do it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's ridiculous. your dad is one of the funniest dudes alive. and you look exactly like him. >> i know. it's ridiculous. >> jimmy: and you really do. >> i know, my family jokes and says he had me by himself. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: in a corner. how come -- you guys get along really well? >> yeah, we do. we get along really well because, ya know, i just learned early on with my dad that, not to mess with him. you know what i mean? he's kind of like a -- he's a big deal. always been a big deal, and i
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think it happened when i was 5 years old. 6 years old. we used to --my family used to invite people over to the house. like my mom and my dad. my mom would cook for my family and they would come over. at the time i was obsessed with michael jackson. that was like my thing was mj, and one time we were having dinner, and, you know, i used to turn on michael jackson. the "bad" --the "bad" music video was out at that time and i loved it. i just knew all the dance moves, i knew everything, and so, you know, dancing or whatever. had my hat, my glove, and -- just killing it, guys, like i was killing that, and, like, my family's sitting around, cheering me on. yeah, yeah. i was getting into it, feeling it. i did a spin and somehow i ended up standing right in front of my dad. and you know, i'm kind of like -- really feeling myself and something in my head told me, i think my inner michael was like, slap him across the face. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what?
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[ laughter ] >> i slapped the hell out of him. the whole house went quiet. it was like -- i think the tv turned off. it was just like -- it was like and i was still sitting there like, you know, just kind of like still being tough, not even realizing what i just did. >> jimmy: who's bad. >> my dad turns to me and he's like, why'd you do that, son? >> i was like, because i'm bad. [ laughter ] >> he slapped me so hard -- [ laughter ] >> he slapped me like i flew off my -- like, you know that scene in "snatch" with brad pitt, he was just kind of floating in the air? li a little 5-year-old, little black kid just floating in the air. >> jimmy: it taught you many lesson. >> if he wasn't a comedian, he would have been a great pimp. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: just think about that. just think about that, yeah. >> i gave him $5. i think it was $5. involuntarily. "happy endings." >> jimmy: big butts. >> yeah, man. >> jimmy: people are liking
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this, saying it's like a -- an edger "friends." >> yeah. i said that. >> jimmy: oh. [ laughter ] is that who i heard it from? i was wondering who said that. yeah. you said that. >> it's great, man. it's a great show. >> jimmy: what is the gist of the show, so everyone knows. >> the gist of the show is, basically six friends that have been together for, like, you know, 10 to 20 years, and two of the friends are about to get married, and one of the friends runs away at the altar. so -- the wife. the runaway bride. it's a runaway bride situation. and it's basically you know -- everybody kind of dealing with, you know, how we're going to ship, and what side do we pick and like that. >> jimmy: it's crazy buz, and it's going to premiere after "modern family," which is huge. that's great for you. >> jimmy: i'm really happy too. want to do a high butt high five? >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: let's do it. >> i can't wait!
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start facing each other, or -- face each other? >> no. start like this. >> jimmy: one, two, three -- [ cheers and applause ] ♪ don't miss damon wayans jr.'s new show, "happy endings," next wednesday night. we'll be right back with a new song from paul simon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest has a great, great new album "so beautiful or so what." it comes out next week. preorder it. it is so good. he's going to kick off a tour on april 15th in seattle. we're thrilled to have him back again tonight to perform a song from it. it's called, "love is eternal sacred light" please welcome paul simon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ ♪ love is eternal sacred light ♪ ♪ free from the shackles of time evil is darkness sight without sight ♪ ♪ a demon that feeds on the mind how'd it all begin it started with a bang ♪ ♪ couple of light years later stars and planets sang ♪ ♪ fire warmed the cold waves of colors flew moonlight into gold earth to green and blue ♪ ♪ you know love is eternal sacred light free from the shackles of time ♪ ♪ evil is darkness sight without sight a demon that feeds on the mind ♪ ♪ earth becomes a farm farmer takes a wife wife becomes a river and the giver of life ♪ ♪ man becomes machine oil runs down his face
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machine becomes a man with a bomb ♪ ♪ in the marketplace bomb in the marketplace bomb in the marketplace ♪ ♪ love is eternal sacred light free from the shackles of time ♪ ♪ evil is darkness sight without sight a demon that feeds on the mind ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ big bang that's a joke that i made up ♪ ♪ once when i had eons to kill ooh ♪ ♪ you know most folks they don't get when i'm joking ♪ ♪ well, maybe someday
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they will they love me love me ♪ ♪ that's the main request i receive ooh ♪ ♪ well you know i love all my children and it tears me up when i leave ♪ ♪ well you know i love all my children and it tears me up when i leave ♪ ♪ but sometimes you gotta fly down that highway ♪ ♪ free as a bird knock on wood thank the lord ♪ ♪ i am driving along in my automobile it's a brand new pre-owned '96 ford ♪ ♪ check out the radio pop music station that don't sound like my music to me ♪ ♪ talk show host what's that boy's name politics is ugly ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ at the end of the dial there's the gospel show ♪ ♪ maybe now i can exit and rest there's a blizzard rolling down ♪ ♪ off the banks of lake michigan gonna cover the roads of the icy midwest ♪ ♪ ♪ love is eternal sacred light free from the shackles of time ♪ ♪ evil is darkness sight without sight a demon that feeds all the mind ♪ ♪ love is eternal sacred light ooh ♪ ♪ love is eternal love is eternal sacred light ooh ♪ ♪ love is eternal

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